Making Memories

A few weeks ago, someone very precious to me passed away.  She was a doctor that I worked with at Kaiser Permanente'.  Her name was Dr. Susan "Sue" Garrison.  She was in incredible lady!  Not only was she a kind, compassionate and highly competent physician, but she was so much more!  The very first time I ever met her (at my interview for KP Georgia), I liked her!  She was a straight to the point kind of gal; no beating around the bush!  She was SMART as a whip, good at listening, and would give advice which was usually right on the mark!  In my short time working with her, she became a friend, a mentor, and like a sister in many ways.  She was diagnosed with Leukemia about 3.5 yrs ago.  She fought a very hard battle; went into remission 2 times, but the disease persisted, and eventually took her away from us.

Sue is very big part of who & where I am today.  While I was still her nurse, I decided venture down the career change path, and applied to be a part of the team that works with our electronic medical record.  I put Sue down as a reference on my application.  When the project director called her for a reference, her response was, "I only have 1 thing to say...HIRE HER."  He did, soley on her say.  There is no way she could have ever known how that changed my life, and the life of my family.  It has made me very happy to be in this field, and the pay is better than it was as an LPN, which enabled my family and I to have a better lifestyle.  I think I told her "thank you" for this.  I pray I did.

This incredible lady taught me some invaluable lessons in life, and ultimately in death.  She showed in her every day life that anything worth having was worth working for.  She lived a life of deep integrity.  She genuinely cared about her patients, her co-workers, friends and family.  When Sue was in her late 30's, she became mom to an incredible little boy named Matthew.  THIS was her ultimate joy in life!!!  MATTHEW made Sue whole!!  She SHONE throughout her pregnancy.  She rejoiced at his birth.  She cherished every moment of his life.  Sue didn't want to leave him, but she had no choice.  My heart breaks most for Matthew's loss, but I pray he will know that he was her greatest joy!!!

I went to Sue's funeral 3 wks ago today.  Of course, it was quite emotional not only because of the obvious reasons, but it was compounded by the fact that she was only 45 years old; just 2 years older than me!  Such a tragic loss of life so young!  As I stood in the beautiful Catholic church, the service began.  They rolled the casket from the back of the cathedral, and draped it with a beautiful white cloth, which I supposed represents purity.  They said a prayer, then began processesing in.  Matthew and his father, John, were walking right behind the casket which held the body of the woman they both loved more than life itself.  John was holding Matthew's hand; being the strength for him during such a time of sorrow.  Matthew was such a trooper!!  He didn't cry or fall apart at all.  He was quite the little gentleman.  Seeing him there, walking behind his mother's casket, did something to me deep inside.  I thought about how much Sue wanted him before he was born.  I thought about how much she cherished him every moment of every day since he was born.  And my heart was broken in two!!!  No child should ever have to bury his mother.  Especially at such a tender age!! 

If there is any good in this tragic story, it is the fact that John, Sue and Matthew lived life to the FULLEST.  They spent lots of time together traveling, exploring, and doing things as a family.  They loved to read, and read to Matthew avidly.  They made LOTS of memories with young Matthew!!!

This got me to thinking.  Am I making memories with my children???  I have been blessed with 4 wonderful children, and 1 grandchild (with another one on the way!).  Two of my children are now grown, one is 15 and the youngest is almost 10.  What am I doing to make their lives and time spent with me memorable?  If I died today, would they be able to sit around with one another in a few years, talking and laughing about good times with Mom?  I'm afraid not enough.  Yes, I know there's some...but not enough!!!!

So...my "Sue" resolution is to MAKE MEMORIES!!!!  Sue touched my life in so many, many ways.  Now, I need to follow her example and make my children the NUMBER ONE priority.  I'm working on it!  We recently bought a new camper so we can spend more family time together.  Ruby is home from school today because of an ear infection, but is feeling better, so she and I got out and worked in the yard.  We had a wonderful time!  I want to spend more time with Russell, Trista, & Stephen as well.  I pray God allows me time to spend with them, doing things we enjoy and will make great memories with.

I'm gonna log off of here now, and go figure out something else to do with Ruby.  Making memories...here we come!!!!

Stress meter!!!

I keep saying this week that my stress meter is pegged...AND IT IS!!!  It seems like one thing after another, including a death in the family, some unanticipated news, MAJOR stress at work, etc, etc, etc.  It goes on and on!!!  But, through it all, I am claiming these verses: "But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your SALVATION.  I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me!!!"  Ps. 13: 5-6

Health update: I am now down 25 lbs since I began life changes w/the Diabetes diagnosis.  PRAISE GOD!!!  Yes, I have a LOT further to go to reach that idea BMI (Body Mass Index) of 25....but I've already brought the BMI down 4 points, so I'm very pleased!  I'm eating right (most of the time!) and am working out 4-5 times per week.  I feel GREAT!!!!  In spite of all that, my sugar is consistently running a little high in the mornings.  That concerns me.  I have followed the nutritionist's advice of a high protein snack before bed, but with or without it, the #'s are just a bit high.  I will discuss that w/Dr. Osterloh at my next visit.

Ever onward & upward!!!
Mel

Lifestyle changes

I mentioned in my prior post that I learned on Dec. 29 that I have diabetes.  The good news is that we caught it early, and my numbers aren't terribly high.  My wonderful doctor, Kate Osterloh, feels confident I can make changes and reverse the diagnosis.  I'm working hard to do that!!!

Most of my life, weight has been a battle for me.  Mom says that even as a baby, I never seemed to be satisfied after feedings; I was always hungry!  Well, that has continued on through my life up to this point; I still have a ravenous apetite.  I am working hard to learn how to work around this.  I met with a nutritionist last week and she gave me some wonderful guidelines about how to structure my diet taking into account carbs, protein, and calories.  As a diabetic, the carbs are most important to maintain a healthy blood sugar.  In my weight loss efforts, the calories are important.  Protein is also very important in many ways.  It's a challenge to learn these parameters, but I'm doing my best to rise up and meet the challenge!  I have always struggled in this. I'll get a burst of "will power," and will do really well for a month...maybe 2, or even 6! But then, I get exasperated and fall off the wagon.  Right now, I'm doing really well.  I'm managing the diet well.  I'm exercising 5 days a week.  I feel great, have more energy, and do not crave the "bad" foods I have soooo loved.  How long will this last?  I pray it will be a lifetime thing!  The thoughts of being an uncontrolled diabetic terrifies me.  I can't imagine losing my eye sight and not being able to see the ones I hold most dear, my beautiful home, and all the wonderful things God has created in this world.  I also can't fathom losing parts of my body, like toes, feet, legs, etc. and not being able to walk beside my husband and hold his hand, run to scoop up my grandson, or enjoy a long, lazy walk with Ruby.  THESE things give me more motivation than I ever imagined!  The thoughts of losing my abilities terrifies me.  I have to beat this disease!!!

A while back, I came up with an acronymn about my weight.  I stated that I know my weight is controlled by "M & M's."  My MOUTH and my MOTION.  I have now added another M to that acronym.  MOTIVATION!!!! 

As a footnote...we returned to our gym, CAIR, last Monday.  I have worked out there 9 times since.  I feel GREAT and am so happy to see my friends & instructors at CAIR, and appreciate their encouragement!!!

Monday, Jan. 24, 2011

Well, they say that the only thing that remains the same is that everything changes.  Oh, so true!!!  My life has been full of a lot of change recently.  Aside of daily changes (like where I'm working at, daily activities, etc), the biggest change as of recent was my grandson, Noah, and his mom, Autumn, moving from near us in NW Georgia to upstate New York.  I was utterly devastated. Today is the first day, so far, that I haven't cried since they left 5 days ago.  The day is young...

Another major change for me is that I learned on Dec. 29, 2010 that I am diabetic.  Although I knew I had several major risk factors including my weight, my mother being diabetic, and the fact that I had a 10 1/2 lb baby, I had been hoping & praying I would dodge that bullet.  As it turns out, we caught it early; it is "mild & reversible" according to my physician, Dr. Kate Osterloh.  I was very encouraged when she said that, and it motivated me to beat this!  So, I have been working very hard.  Since Dec. 29, I have lost at least 15 lbs, have altered my eating habits, and have begun working out at the gym again.  I feel better already, and in the last week since I began testing my blood sugar twice per day, I have only had 1 abnormal reading.  I'm very encouraged.

I hope to document my progress on this blog.  Stay tuned!
Mel